Young children have a limited understanding of why things happen as they do.
They often use a process called magical thinking. This means they believe their own thoughts, wishes and actions can make things happen in the greater world.
Magical thinking is useful at times. Being able to wish for things to be better in their lives and in the world can help young children feel stronger and more in control. But there’s also a downside, because when something bad happens, such as the death of a loved one, children may believe it happened because of something they said, did, thought or wished.
Because children understand death differently from adults, their reactions may be different. Some of the things they say or do may seem puzzling.
Offer your children opportunities to play, write, draw, paint, dance, make up songs or do other creative activities.
Ask them to tell you about their artwork. For example, you might say, “Tell me what’s happening in this picture you drew.” If there are people in the drawing, ask who they are, what they’re feeling, whether anyone is missing from the picture, and so on.
If you’re worried that your children’s play or creative work shows they are having trouble coping with the death, seek outside help.
More information at aap.org